How have I already been married for two years, one month, and twenty-two days? It usually seems like just yesterday when we said our vows, but when I recently watched our wedding video for the millionth time, I felt more removed from the characters on the screen–like how did those two people dancing in a ball gown and a tuxedo turn into these two cuddle bugs on the couch? We don’t dance as much these days as our schedule tends to be full of highlighting research papers, writing literature reviews, and modifying treatment plans. But we still dance sometimes, when we realize our favorite song is almost finished playing and we are half-dressed and have to step around the piles of books on the floor and try not to knock into the walls of our small bungalow. And then we laugh.
I think that is so much of what our second year of marriage has brought us-to deeper understanding: to knowing the punchline before the other finishes the joke, to predicting each other’s late night chocolate cravings, to tolerating the other’s podcast choices, and to finding each other in bed at the same time. Second year has taken us past all the “firsts” of year one and has turned us into a smooth, well-oiled machine of expectations for family visits, vacation experiences, annual parties, and holiday celebrations.
If year one was an experiment, year two adds additional data to strengthen the hypothesis that we are really, really good for each other. I remind Husband to charge his phone and he send massage energy to my tired body. I schedule our social activities and he stops me from canceling all of them. I plan our meals and he cooks them. I ignore his messy den and he helps me organize all my books. I provide him with a quiet space to complete his logic puzzles and he accompanies me to my favorite foodie festivals. We’ve somehow (for now) figured out the rhythms of this up and down carousal ride through open communication, honest self-reflection, and lots and lots of kisses.
We are happy. Marriage is good.
Cheers to year three!